I would be really interested in any research you may be aware of regarding the pros and cons of the simultaneous adoption of non-siblings compared to the adoption of siblings.

Raising my bio twins has taught me alot about how to help them negotiate living with someone all the time from day one. And it is a real stretching experience to meet the needs of two at the same age/stage. When God dumps them into your lap by conception you just muddle through, but not everyone is equipped and able to do it by choice and care needs to be taken to ensure the families are equipped to deal with the issues that will arise.

My fondest desire would be that any families who were willing and able could take as many children as they could raise, as frequently as their heart and lives could manage, and that money for the travel and adoption costs would never need to be an issue. Then there would at least be the hope that all orphans could have a family to grow up in and parents to be loved by. So I dream and pray…

Did you see my comment “I don’t doubt that there are some benefits to being adopted simultaneously with another child”

I wasn’t trying to say that there were no benefiits to being adopted simultaneously. My post pointed out that most of the arguments were about the benefits to the parents, not the child. And pointed out that in a country where individuals don’t benefit from finanically from pushing through as many adoptions as possible, these restrictions have been put into place.

There are many flaws in the Australian adoption system, I don’t deny that for a second. But the focus here is defintiely on the child, not the parents.

I have long though that what would be ideal would be a compromise somewhere between the Australian system and the US system.

In an ideal world……sigh….

• From anecdotal evidence as well as the limited amount of research available, young children who are adopted from orphanages adjust better and quicker when there is a child/children near to their own age in the home. They are accustomed to others in the baby house and see the others there as siblings. They have spent every moment they can remember sleeping, eating, bathing and playing with similar aged children in their group. They miss the camaraderie when no similar aged children are present.

• The adaptation of boys in particular (birthed or adopted) to any new addition of a sibling is complicated. They do not have the natural mothering instinct little girls possess. It is common for them to feel rejected and resentful if another child is added to the family within a year or two of their entrance. The subsequent travel to adopt a second child just when the first adopted child is settling in can be a very disrupting experience. If the parents travel again without the first adopted child, serious abandonment issues can arise. If, however, two boys join the family together, their acclimation is much easier since no one must leave for a second adoption trip. Also, as we noticed with our girls, they will have known no other status in the family except that of sharing attention, so sibling issues of displacement are lessened.

• While the actual adoption costs will be roughly doubled, travelling costs will essentially remain the same or increase only slightly. Time considerations in terms of total work and income lost by parents will be decreased with one trip instead of two (or four if a two-trip adoption is required in each case), causing less financial stress on the family as a whole.

These are significant arguments FOR adopting two of the same age at once.

I cannot account for why Austrailia has the restrictions they do. On the surface they look to be sound guidelines. although I would like to see the evidence/research they base their practices on. Just be aware that highly-regulated, government-run, nobody financially profits situations do not necessarily translate into healthiest, wisest and best. Look at the old USSR and other Communist regimes as examples!

Does not anyone stop and think about whether it might have an impact on the CHILD?

Here in Australia, artificial twinning in adoption is not allowed. Neither is adopting more than one child at a given time, unless they are a sibling group. There are also restrictions on the age of the child in relation to existing children in the family – an adopted child MUST be the youngest in the family by at least 2 years. You must then wait at least 12 months before adding another child to the family (except in the rare cases of bio children obviously).

WHY have all these been restrictions been put into place? Well, hmmm, lets see…..could it be perhaps that its in the best interests of the CHILD? to have their new parents undivided attention for at least 12 months following their adoption?….and not to have to deal with the power struggles that are often found when a previously ‘eldest’ child has their position usurped?

I don’t doubt that there are some benefits to being adopted simultaneously with another child. BUT its interesting to note that these restrictions are in place in Australia….where adoption is NOT an industry, but a highly regulated, government-run situation, where nobody profits….but they are not in place in the US…where the more babies adopted, the more money lining the pockets of those running the show…..

I just hope that will give you some food for thought….

Most babies don’t wear diapers….mothers in the street/in their homes hold their babies over drains/toiles and either ‘they learn to urinate on cue’…(or possibly it’s that the mothers become attuned to their child’s rhythms).

My advice to you,go to China and see for yourself before you write something that you do not have the slightest idea about!

PS – I agree with you about the conditions in Chinese orphanages, just the toileting situation has nothing to do with orphanages. and I would never normally make such a rude comment as the one above….