Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity

On the eve of the September 1st expiration date of the current Memorandum of Understanding, a sort of sad silence has fallen over the Vietnam adoptive community. Agencies are saying little to nothing. Both governments are mum. Advocacy groups are waiting. Without speaking at all, the anxiousness is palpable. You can hear a pin drop in our community, waiting for something – anything – to be said about the future of adoptions in Vietnam.

Many are left without referrals while their dossiers wait in Vietnam, soon to be returned without a match. Some have been waiting for years already, having carefully chosen highly reputable agencies while watching hundreds of parents receive referrals and come home with their babies. For some, Vietnam adoption was their last best hope to build a family.

Some are left holding “soft” referrals that do not meet the DIA’s definition of a referral quite yet. They wonder whether this child whose face they have grown to love will be allowed to come home or whether they will just silently receive their returned dossier with the rest.

Still others have completed adoptions or have referrals and are just waiting to travel. We are considered to be, by some, the lucky ones. But many of us, while feeling blessed to be afforded the opportunity raise our beloved children, are dealing with the harsh realities of the deep and serious corruption that may have tainted our own adoptions and the likelihood of never knowing the full truth either way. Many of us are finding, as arrests are made in our children’s provinces and investigations are revealing further and further examples of corruption that we are going through our own period of confusion, mourning, depression and anxiety. How will we explain to our children the histories that were robbed from our children? How do we explain the shutdown, the arrests, the closed provinces and the stories of corruption? Can we assure our children that they were not a part of this corruption? Can we hire someone to uncover more information in Vietnam? Can we find out the truth? If not, what do we tell them? How much? And when? How?

Many people are wondering  what  we can do now? What do we do next? How can we help? How can we exact change upon a failed system? How can we help the orphans left behind? How can we work to open up adoption again in Vietnam without sacrificing ethics?

The answers to these questions are difficult and complicated and often evoke more questions than answers.

Do we hire investigators to search for birth parent info? If so, how do we find an ethical investigator? How do we assure that the information uncovered is free of its own brand of corruption? How do we assure that birth parents are respected and privacy is not overstepped?

Do we continue to send financial aid to agencies or other humanitarian aide groups that promise to continue to care for the meek and needy? If so, how do we tell a con from a real path to change? How do we know our dollars are going to help families and children in need and not just continuing to line the pockets of greedy intermediaries as we have seen in the past?

Do we fight with our government for change? If so, is it better that a million single voices are heard or one strong united voice? Is it better to approach our state representatives and advocate for change on the state level? Or does it make more sense to fight for change on a federal level? What can be done to convey our desires to Vietnam’s government?

What goes into the creation of an MOU? Can it be done quickly? Should it be done quickly? Can we learn any lessons from the weaknesses of this expiring MOU? Should, instead, Hague implementation be advocated for?

Although this day brings heartbreak and sadness to so many families, it also brings hope. The MOU offered us a path to adoption but that path was riddled with problems that have affected so many children and their birth families and adoptive families as well. As this adoption program draws to a close, we can close a chapter riddled with corruption and instead focus on a new chapter where all parties- birth families, children and adoptive families – are put first.

In the coming days and weeks we will bring you some of the answers to all of those many questions posed above. We will share resources, we will talk through some of the ethical conundrums we all face, we will talk about the reality of creating a new adoption agreement and we will talk about ways we can all collectively come together to advocate for change from the ground up.

This does not have to be the end. In fact, it is just the beginning.